Afterall..... This IS my life IV for heatherg

[heatherg]

Then you will have to address the issues before the 8th.


We were going to talk this past weekend, but did not have time. Then he tells me this morning that he has a L appt today. I said 'yeah, I guess we didn't have time to talk this weekend did we?' He said 'no and it's going to cost like $400.' I said 'Maybe you can postpone until we've had a chance to talk?' He said 'No, because I have to respond by the 8th.'
So, I guess he saw his L today. I'll try to initiate a discussion tonight.

"Hubby, I have done my best to deal with the residual issues of my affair. In order for us to continue, I need at least a minimum commitment to the relationship from you. First, I need to know if you are going to work with me on building a new relationship. Secondly, I need to know if you intend to start sharing our marital bed with me again. Thirdly, I need to know if you intend to share parenting with me as an equal partner."


I like this.

If the answers are positive, then postpone the divorce. Don't stop it just yet. Let the proof be in the pudding.

Can a year be considered a 'postponement', lol?

Do keep in mind that he already considers himself as having proven his seriousness.

Your point here is not to argue with him about whether or not he's proven his seriousness. Just state and restate what I need to hear?

Regardless, he will need to prove that he is ready to commit to working out the issues.

His behavior lately has spoken volumes and I need to address how much I appreciate the actions he's taken. I think I have to be careful not to address them as 'changes' because I don't want him to feel like he's being controlled by me, giving me what I want. I just want to appreciate his actions for what they were-respectful, thoughtful and kind.

There has been lots of good, lots. Way more good than bad. I'm very optimistic, even about my role in the family. We had a good conversation today about him having a 'boys' night out with S6. He offered to let me take S6. That's a huge step in the right direction, as one of my points has always been that if it is one-on-one time that S6 needs, why should it matter so much which parent takes him? For the first time, it appears that he is considering my point-of-view. And I plan to accept that offer