Making the leap - Hopefully wount Jinx it!

[cat03]

I know it is hard to comprehend why things happen. The reality of things, is that a great deal of bad things come from poor choices we make, or others make. God gave us free will, and w/that, freedom to make *bad* choices, and sadly, we must suffer because of other's mistakes.

In my case, my hell brought me closer to God, in my H's case, it took him away from God (he was a very conservative christian, now he doesns' go to church)
God doesnt mean to harm us, and we can't see the big picture. I suffered horribly, but now my M is much MUCH better than what it was. Sadly, it took my H leaving to see what kind of person I was (nagging, treating my H like a child, being too tired to ML, putting my H as my last priotiry, being abrasive and angry). I've never drunk nor party, was always good mom to my children, yet, I was a poor & sad excuse of a wife.

Remember Joseph, the one w/the dreams and the coat? he sat in jail for three years, yet, the bible said "and God was with him". How can God be w/someone who's been in jail unjustly? The verse meant that God gave him the inner freedom others outside the jail didnt' have, the peace that only God puts in your heart when you surrender your pains, your cross onto Him.
God does send us trials, and to the ones he loves.

When my H left, I remember endless mornings, when after sleeping for 3-4hrs I'd wrythe in pain crying. Then I started praying, or just waking up saying over and over "please take this pain away, please, take this pain away, help me, help me"
And over the course of weeks, I felt it, the peace no one else could give me. And I'd wake up, and made it as point to smile as I did so, and said "thank you dear Lord, for my health, for my kids, for my friends". And when my H talked about D and selling the house I'd figuratively raised my hands and told God "here, I can't deal w/this burden, take it from me.

Make a choide each day, which road will you take, the road to misery and dark thoughts, or the choice of being happy regardless the circumstances and decide to detach when your H is being negative. Always give him the benefit of the doubt.