I am feeling good again today. I am working out just about everyday now and I am getting stronger. I am not losing weight though... Oh well. I will keep trying. My H will be home next week and I am excited and at the same time petrified,, will I be able to show him me w/o fear in our bedroom how much I love him?
That is the million dolar question~ and that is like his big final exam for me..... is she enjoying herself and not holding back? OOOOOOOOH scary.
I cant even have a drink to loosen me up cause you arent supposed to drink on these meds~ oops. Well maybe just one , I had one the other day and I did not feel a damn thing. My Dr says you will not feel it and then you will just be lost. Bummer so I guess having a few drinks to loosen up is out of the question. Gees you would think I was an amatuer but I am not and I need to stop thinking ABOUT this and overanalizing ( sp?) myself. That is my nature though to be a perfectionist. I am sure the pure adrenaline of not having seen him in awhile will help.
My h called me a few times yesterday and he called me before I was about to go to bed and talked to me for over 50 minutes and that was very nice.. I told him I loved him and did not get one back but hey that is ok. And although I love to hear it he is a show me you love me type of guy and he said he and his family were watching a movie and he decided to call me so I guess that sure says alot. He is showing me he loves me. I must admit when I get the ILY's here and there I feel like I am on a cloud the whole day like a crazy love sick teenager
It is amazing how important love is in our lives and it just seems to make the day move better when you feel like your love is returned in some fashion. I love him regardless but it makes it so much sweeter when he loves me too. He is sooooooooooo damn stubborn though,, he said awhile ago when he feels like I am giving him all I can then he will do the same,,,,, he sure knows how to pressure a girl. I have accepted the challenge and hopefully one day I can say " I knocked his socks off and he is comfortable and he is sooooooooo Happy~"!

That is my goal.
... and if I lose weight too great but right now my M is the most important thing to me,, being smaller would be gerat but being Happy will be even better than that,, I am very certain of that~!

Sometimes I think about that he no longer wears his ring and he carries it in his wallet and I get sad~ but I need to let that one go too. And I am sure the tattoo is still there let it go Ali let it go... Sheesh if only this would be easy!
God bless...