I think my W could have wrote that e-mail. I'm just a few months behind you on the same train I would say. Detach in a loving way and move on is all that is left, she may change her mind if you do. Show consistancy and no pressure and no pursuing, who knows? I'm in the same sitch, going for breakfast like old friends? She knows you are in her back pocket if she changes her mind at any time, it is a cruel game they play. They get to enjoy the single life and keep us as back up plans. Sorry for the bitterness. Good luck, 4
I couldn't agree more. In my sitch, I tried this in the beginning, but 4 has it right. "She knows you are in her back pocket if she changes her mind at any time, it is a cruel game they play. They get to enjoy the single life and keep us as back up plans."
That is not good enough for you. I honestly believe, that in MOST cases (not all) they are simply easing their own transition, on the decision THEY made. THEY made. Not YOU. So why help them?? Do a little test for me........and it's hard with kids, I know. But reduce your contact to ZERO, or as close to that as you can...for one month. Let her be alone. Let her be lonely. Now?? Whenever she's lonely, she can call you for a booster shot..........just try it, even for 2 weeks!! Don't answer/return her calls unless it is child oriented. When you call, ask immediately to speak to your child. If W wants to talk later, say "Gotta Run"
If she wants to go out for supper......Nope, got plans. Wants you to come over for breakfast?? "I'd rather not" If she asks why, say "I'm doing what I need to do to move on" End of story. No other explanation needed or deserved. You might be surprised what happens when she realizes she might REALLY be losing you.
