MissMyFriend....wow...85 pounds...that is really an accomplishment....if that is what you planned on...I know I lost 65 pounds after H left...but some has crept back on since his return....
This is what I told H....I could forgive him...but unless he forgave himself or wanted my forgiveness it was of no benefit to him....
I am not of the reasoning that the OP's H should never know of her one-night A....I don't believe it is right to keep those kinds of things secret...besides...the OM knows and you never know if and when he might say something....even if he said he would never say anything or contact her again....he gave her some pretty nice compliments...and if they were said in sincerety rather then just to get to the finish line he might not be as gone as the OP thinks at this point...eventually all things come out....but I do think that the time has to be right for it to be discussed...and he does bare some responsibility by putting her in that position to be so vulnerable.... Without getting real personal....if protection wasn't used the entire time there are health issues to be addressed as well...and some of the STD's out there are "wait and see's" and not something that you can be tested for and find out right then and there if your still "clean" or not....
