Just some journaling..this morning MIL called(she has been having some health problems)and was so short of breath, wanted me to take her to emergency room..she could not get ahold of my h or his b and sisters..so she called me..of course I would do anything for her..so I did and left message on h cell phone..h and SIL met me there..did a bunch of tests, can't find out what is wrong so sent her home. I stayed the whole time and thought to myself"does h even appreciate that she called me?" He would do the same for me,but I think I would have at least said thanks for being there for my Mom. I know I am expecting too much..he has never been one to thank me..but darn it maybe he needs to see that he has to change some things too.Isn't that what this time alone thing is suppose to be about?? Sorry, I don't want to turn this into anything negative..it's just that I want to see or hear something from him that tells me anything..I always have this habit now of looking to see if he still wears his ring..of course it is always on..I am so bad to think that he only wears it when he knows he will see me, not true..I have to get a hold on these old insecure ideas that start to creep back in.Well, guess I will go to Borders and enjoy the music that they offer tonight..I find myself so lonely on the weekend evenings as it seems we have had so many things going the past month, now that I am alone it seems weird.Take care all.. Sue
