I read what you said about having the feeling that H thinks that you don't care about the M by being silent. KAW pointed out to me that DBing brings that risk - by focusing more on yourself, you might be putting out a false impression. As to whether you should wait for H to bring up talking about R or go ahead and bring it up yourself? Normally it's not a good idea but it's also not a rule etched in stone. If you think that it would be a 180, try it once and monitor the results. But only you can make that call, Sue...
Doubts and anger? Yes - I feel those too from time to time but I do my best not to show it to anyone. We still have the kids at home and I'm the one who takes care of them a majority of the time.
Also, sorry to hear about the untimely passing of your former neighbor. Does your H know that it happened? It might be worthwhile to give him a call if your neighbor and H were friends - open up a line of communication.
The weekend is fast approaching. What is Sue going to do for herself this weekend?
