Muddle, this sitch seems like a huge control struggle in which your S is the main casualty! I understand you don't feel that separation is the right choice, fair enough. But, what would happen if you said to her "I disagree with separation but if it is what you feel you must do then I will meet my obligations to our son and not stand in your way". Would that be violating your ethics? What does she need from you? If it is your blessing and how right you think her choice is, then of course she won't get it but otherwise what else? I have concerns about your W blowing one day and something terrible happening. What do you think?
