I do feel more detached today than I have been on the other occasions I've seen W. I haven't found myself agonising over things she said or did and have really let it 'wash over' me more. It doesn't change facts anyway.
Not sure why D didn't really want to go to W. She was very clingy to me and in a way this confirmed to W that D really has been unsettled as I suspect W thought I was over reacting a bit. I think she could sense W's sadness too. Plus she'd been waiting, looking out of the front window for 45 minutes for her and I think we'd all be a bit pi**ed off with that. With my encouragement she did go and had a good time, I think (although she didn't really want to talk about it afterwards).
Yes, LiN, her perceptions are probably very different from mine. I think I handled the situation pretty well though. For example, in the past, I would have given her a bit of a hard time about being late for D but I didn't yesterday, mainly because she did that herself. I think she mentioned about no partying on Saturday so that I wouldn't think that she was prioritising that over D, as she did last week. And also because she felt guilty about letting D down too and wanted to excuse herself by saying it wasn't because of her social life. But, as we know, I've really, truly no idea.
I go from thinking that she does love me to thinking how could she possibly love me, even as a friend, and put me through the torture of the 2 months she was at home whilst seeing OM. She has maintained throughout that she loves me as a best friend and in fact said on many occasions she loved me and D more than anyone. As I say though, I still think it's a funny sort of love which allows you to watch the other person in such pain and still carry on with the behaviour that's causing that pain.
