Thanks again to all for the words of encouragement!!
Today I want nothing more than my H to call or make some contact with me. I know part of the reason I did what I did the other nite is because it felt so good to get the attention that I have been wanting and needing to have. The problem is that it was not from the person it should have been. The lonliness of our situations is the hardest part for me. It doesn't matter how many friends and family you have when the ONE person you want to share everything with doesn't want to take part.
I am still guilt ridden today for my actions from Saturday and I will have to live with that. Unfortunatly it is just one more thing to have to deal with and I did it to myself.
I have gone dark and made no contact since last Sunday and each day is a struggle to not pick up the phone and call H. He is probaly relieved that I have not talked to him, less drama for him. I just wish I knew if I cross his mind.
I love him so much hit hurts, I know you can all relate. I do believe God will forgive me for the sin I have committed and I can only hope that he is working on my H.
