Let me reply by saying that neither my wife nor myself make these type of statements to our kids. The closest I have come to such a statement once was awhile back at the dinner table D15 got spaghetti on her shirt from not paying attention and leaning to far over her plate. I joked that she was having troubling eating because her big boobs were getting in the way (her boobs aren’t big at all). Everyone, including her, just laughed.
We have tried to be open towards sexuality with our kids as they were growing up. They would see us in the shower or in the bathroom, and even now one will occasionally walk right in while I am getting out of the shower. They don’t seem to be fazed by it. So in our house I think there is less of a taboo over sex.
I can see in another home that my comment would have devastated someone else, which is too bad, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact it shouldn’t be that way. In our society, a comment like Nop mentioned would be harmful. I think a comment like that in our household may not be, especially if made in a way to be complimentary rather than a belittling way. My comment to my daughter was not belittling, but in a way an implied compliment. She is late to bloom and has wanted to catch up to the other girls. Finally her time has come.
Had I made a comment that shamed her, it would have been different. I am trying to teach my son to be proud of being a male. When the kids were smaller, I told him that his sisters were jealous because they did not have a “winkie” (in response to the teasing his sisters would sometimes do, and we did tell them to stop that.)
So IMO, there are two sides to this matter. If you want to make the comment embarrassing, it will be. In an atmosphere of sexual taboo, that may be unavoidable. In a more open family, the comment need not be embarrassing at all. Both parents have influence over this. Of all the things W and I have done to screw up our family, I believe this is one thing we got right.
