Well it has been a very emotional night, I think I might have slept for an hour.

I had a two hour conversation with the ex last night that lasted until midnight. I had to get clarifiaction on this maybe in 1 or 6 month statement.

She said she didn't really know what that ment, she was not using me as a back up plan but rather she wasn't sure if she could trust me again.

Her major complaint was the lack of quality time I spent with her and my D and how I never had her back or supported her when she would get into arguments with her family (this is another story all to its self)

I came right out and told her love is a choice, if you still have loving feelings for me you need to make me show you you can trust me again. There wasn't going to be any bell going off telling you hey its ok to get vulnerable now.

We spent the better part of an hour talking about changes we needed to make. For the first time she said she was sorry for all the pain she put me through and that I truly was a great person.
When she was in her fog she says she was in so much pain she just needed out. I neglected her for so long she was numb.

I asked her what was it that changed her mind about me, she told me she saw changes in me that were real. I spent quality time with my D, I always talked to my ex with dignity and respect and I was always there for her when she needed something.

We discussed how we both need to meet each others emotional needs and I insisted on counseling. She wasn't so sure we need that but I told her even though I have grown a lot and realize how I have hurt her, I need a safe placed to vent my hurt as we grow back together.

She said she wants to take this slowly and ease into it, she needs to feel safe again with me. I said no problem, just let me show you the path to a great relationship and I won't fail you.

We both agreed to cut ties with all current and old b/g friends and dedicate our full energy to us.

I am excited, yet scared about this new relationship. It is what I wanted for so long and I never doubted we had a chance to re-kindle what we had. I beleive in my heart we will be fine but have a lot of hard work ahead of us