Grace, i do find that my C is really helping me to process all of this cr*p much quicker than I might have done otherwise so for that reason I'm really glad I'm going. However, depending on what we've spoken about, I can either come out feeling immediately calmer or I feel shell shocked and unsettled, but I do feel better within a day or two. Does that make sense? Either way I know it's the right thing for me at the moment.

D slept without nightmares on Friday so I texted W to suggest she saw her on Sunday morning. She got straight back to me (it was fairly early too so maybe the party life didn't happen on Friday.) She tried to change the agreement again regarding taking her to her new flat and I stood my ground and said D was still too unsettled for that.

We agreed then that she would collect D at 9 o'clock on Sunday. At 9.20 I had a call from a panicked W who had overslept. She was at pains to tell me that she had been alone at her flat and hadn't been out so that she could be fresh to see D. OM away for the weekend?, I asked myself, but anyway..
When she arrived 20 minutes later she was very apologetic and obviously felt terrible for letting D down again. D was reticent to go to her, but with my encouragement she did.

When she dropped her back off later she was very tearful. She asked how I was, I said fine and asked her. She said ok but was hesitant. I think if I'd have pushed it she would have opened up a bit, but I didn't and just carried on with what I was doing (the laundry, see I can do it too!). Throughout I was pleasant, calm and distant. I think I did well.

I've just had a text from her asking how D slept last night (I'd said she could see her on Wednesday as I'm late at work, provided D's nightmares didn't start up again.) I think she is starting to miss D really badly. Also interesting that whatever the reason, she doesn't seem to be living the full party life that she craved. I, on the other hand, was out partying on Saturday. Ain't life strange?!

Regardless of all of this, house is on the market with potential viewers in today so nothing's changed really. Feeling good today.