The fat lady is warming up....

[OldFool]

...it sounds like you are on the road home, that is so good to hear.

Perhaps, but too early to really tell.

I would say your wife is who she was before. People learn and grow and mature, but their basic personality remains the same in my opinion. She may have grown now and sees things different.

I generally tend to agree with your position, but in the case of my WAW, all bets are off for this reason. She says that her life has been a fraud for many years and that she has been living up to the expectations of others and not being true to herself. This apparently pre-dates my even knowing her and involves others (parents, work, etc.) beyond me. That means I may have never really known who she was...right from the time we began dating to the present. Given that, returning to her "basic personality" may mean returning to something I never knew.

You have proven Dbing really works.

Whoa...let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm a long way from being out of the woods (though I think I've stopped the bleeding, so to speak).

It is natural to question whether you want to go back after the hell she put you through. She is moving towards you so all the hurt you had suppressed when you were DBing now feels safe to come up now to be felt and resolved. Forgive her my friend, set the hurt and yourself free.

I think you've misunderstood. My response of "Not yet...not now" to JC and "dinner" was not motivated by anger or an unforgiving spirit. It is a timing issue. Much has to be dealt with and the foundation has yet to be laid. There will come a time when this is appropriate, but too little time has passed and too little progress has been made. In addition, she is not yet able to articulate who she is, what her values are, or what she desires. I can make no progress myself until such time as these are known.

You were a model DB student and now teacher and guide to many others. You have earned your success also.

Thank you.

I hope I can be as successful as you are.

If you are really committed to doing it, I have every reason to believe you will find even greater success than I.