8, they don't because OP feels so damn good. It creeps up on them little by little and becomes addictive, "I'll just let it go a little longer" besides "we're just friends" and then suddenly you hear "nobody planned for this to happen". It's all BS of course, they chose not to stop it. I also think they weren't as unhappy before OP as they claim to be, but have re-written alot of history to fit the immoral thing they have just done. "If I was unhappy then I have a right to do what I did" and "if he had of been a better H, I would have been happy". I heard "just because I took a vow does that mean I don't have the right to be happy?" Wow, how do you respond to nonsense like that? Yes, there certainly were things in my M at least that I could have done better or differently, and even tried when I was informed (or nagged is a better term) but to no avail. She was looking for reasons to push me away and let OP in. For sure, I got comfy and didn't keep the magic alive, I became the "family man" and "supportive H" but I missed something along the way and I'm paying for it now. I don't blame myself but I do acknowledge my role in what happened. What happens next though, is up to her. I've done my part and been open to changing and working to make our M better, she refuses. I think you are in the same boat. My only advice right now would be to be as good a friend to her as you can be in the days to come. Keep on good terms and love her as best you can. She'll always be a part of you regardless of whether she's there or not. That's what they don't understand, they can tear up the piece of paper but not what's in our hearts. They will always own a little piece, if not more. They can never kill that.
