Hey, Lin --

Yes, I think we MAY have been twins separated at birth! Ha! I can't believe how many similarities we have! \:\)

I have been working the past couple of hours on cleaning up the office at one of our properties - it's not the work that I need to get done, but I just felt like I needed to do something to keep busy without a lot of thought required and just "make something pretty..." \:\) It helped a bit. It's nice to have it looking better. I am getting ready to head up to our office to see if I can at least work for an hour or two up there on the important things at hand... If not, I may try and make it an early night, take some sleep aids :), and get to bed early so I can maybe wake up early and have a more productive day tomorrow.

Yes, patience, patience, patience... I am SO BAD at that! I hate it when I don't get my way, and I am just horrible and talking and talking and talking to try and make others see my point of view of they don't agree. I guess that might be good sometimes in our business, but it's definitely NOT good in our R. Thanks for helping me to clarify some of my communication problems. It's nice to finally have some feedback to start working on. Did you find any books that were helpful on this "problem"?

So for the parent trip, do you think it's best if I wait until, say, this next Friday or so to talk to him? I don't think if I ask him soon the result will be what I want, and since I CAN'T PRESSURE HIM AND HAVE TO ACCEPT HIS ANSWER, I would rather wait until I might have a better chance... (Bear with me... Baby steps... \:\) ) Also, I know he said he wanted to have things going better in our business if we are to go, so if I work hard this week to do that, I think that might help. He still might say he doesn't want to go, but at least I'll feel like I gave it my best shot. What do you think?

So for Vegas, do I not remind him about it at all - ever? As I said, he does NOT remember dates or occasions, as I always keep him abreast of all of that. So on the day we're supposed to leave, do I just say, "Oh, by the way, remember our trip is today. Are you going?" And then if he doesn't want to go, I just go by myself?

I have something else to ask you about. I feel bad that I talked to him the other day and asked him if he made his decision and the resulting conversation we had because I feel like I just made it easy for him now to go running back to her without having to worry about what I was going to do. Before that, he was at least staying at our office some, and I could tell he was having a hard time with things. But then, when we talked and he said he didn't want to be with me anymore but then agreed to just be friends for now and stay married and see if anything sparks in the future and that he was going to continue his R with her in the meantime and that that's what I would have to deal with if I wanted to hang in there, I in essense gave him his golden ticket! I took the pressure off of him so that he could freely go back to her. For all I know, he told her that he told me it's over and that it's just a matter of time now... If I hadn't asked him about it, maybe he would not have gone back to her or at least it would have taken more time and I would have forced HIM to be the one to come to me about it? Or maybe he just would have done it anyway and not said anything to me, just like he did when he packed some clothes and toiletries this time without even bothering to tell me...

I'm just blaming myself again. I feel like he's got everything he wants now, and I'm just miserable. Do you think he's hurting at all, too? Do you think he misses me at all or what we had? Or does the fact that he said he's done mean he no longer feels any pain or love for me? (BTW, he's given me the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech multiple times now. That's the one thing he DOESN'T have a problem saying... \:\( ) I just wonder whether he's wrestling with this at all. I would think it would be hard to be with someone you weren't married to and know you were still married to someone else? But maybe not if you don't love the person you're married to anymore... I just don't know. I just feel like I've now made this too easy for him while I'm going through hell...