It's all gone horribly wrong, Muddle. We're expecting a little bookmark in about 9 months. What will I tell the W?
BTW, your W is the opposite to mine, my W doesn't need therapy to be done to her! She once said she could do it herself. Umm, if this is the finished product then, if I were my W, I would demand my money back.
So, is there an update on your sitch? I am curious on how life is there.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
Update? Well, today W told me that she's really unhappy. I told her that I am truly sorry, and that I don't like to see her this way. She told me that I don't care, that I'm not doing anything about it. She had yelled at me earlier "Why can't you just accept that we're through? We're going to end up hating each other if we continue this nonsense any longer. Why do you insist on torturing me?" She also said something during the day about how she resents having to live by someone else's rules in her own house. Of course, I'm being blamed for her stuff, but there's not much I can do to show her this. In fact, showing her comes off as blaming, which I won't do. I am growing weary of hearing over and over how I'm the cause of her unhappiness. It's been so long since I've had much in the way of affection from her. The fact that she still actively hates me often enough tells me she still feels passionately about me, which means there's hope, but I'm growing a bit tired of it. I need a vacation.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
Oh, Muddle. It just drives me insane, your W and her attitude. sigh. But perhaps if my H were posting here instead of me, you would think the same of his W. Hard weekend. Just wanted to check in, and raise a pompom in support for you, dear friend. \o/\o/\o/
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Muddle, how is it that you are responsible for her unhappiness? Why can't she just leave if she wants to? Do you have her chained to the bedpost or something? What is stopping her? What could you be doing to mess up her little dream? I don't quite get it. If you are preventing her from leaving, I would have to ask WHY? Also, your W saying "why can't you just give up on us" reminds me of my W telling me she didn't want me to hold onto any hope. I told her that she could take everything else away from me but she couldn't take my hope. That was all mine and only I would decide when to let that go, not her. We control what we can, and let go of what we can't.
Good to hear from you, BI. Hope you're healing well.
Originally Posted By: believing_isaiah43
Oh, Muddle. It just drives me insane, your W and her attitude. sigh. But perhaps if my H were posting here instead of me, you would think the same of his W.
This is what bugs me, that my perspective is painting my W in such a poor light. Not that she's not acting poorly, but that I'm not able to put this into perspective in such a way that I'm not truly honoring her or doing her justice.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
Muddle, how is it that you are responsible for her unhappiness? Why can't she just leave if she wants to?
This is just another instance where my W is blaming me for her own choices. She wants to end things in agreement. She wants us to come to this together. I don't think it's right, it's not what I want, so she can't have what she wants. If she can't get what she wants she makes herself unhappy so the parental figures in her life will rescue her from her feelings, give her something she wants. It's really immature. Then again, this is my interpretation, my perception, so it's probably my projection too.
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Do you have her chained to the bedpost or something? What is stopping her? What could you be doing to mess up her little dream? I don't quite get it. If you are preventing her from leaving, I would have to ask WHY?
The door's wide open. She just doesn't want to leave under the current set of circumstances, and she sees me in control of the circumstances, so she twists it into me preventing her from leaving. The fact is that she's preventing herself from leaving by making it contingent on me.
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Also, your W saying "why can't you just give up on us" reminds me of my W telling me she didn't want me to hold onto any hope. I told her that she could take everything else away from me but she couldn't take my hope. That was all mine and only I would decide when to let that go, not her. We control what we can, and let go of what we can't.
I can't control whether she stays or not. I can't control whether she's happy or not. I can't control whether she sabotages everything in her life. I can't control whether she negatively impacts (in my perception) my son's growth and development. Yeah, it's just my opinion, but to be badmouthing his father constantly to the point where he walks around saying "daddy's always right, mommy's always wrong" is far from responsible. It's not in any way factual, and it's not right for him to be exposed to. But what can I do???
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
