I probaly should not have told anyone what I did sometimes it just feels better to get it out.
I know now more than ever that I am TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY in love with my H. I screwed up big time, I have NEVER gone down this road before and it is something I have already been asking God for forgiveness for.
I wasn't trying to justify my actions but what I was saying is that sometimes after all of the gut wrenching pain our H's have put upon us it would be a nice turn of events to have them feel the pain. It would be nice to know that he was aching for me once in awhile and it feels like those days are long gone!
I no longer work with this guy as of 2 weeks ago and we do not have the same friends. He knew where I stood on things when I left last night and he knows how I feel about my H. He had just gotten out of a long relationship and I guess it was 2 people feeling pretty lonely. Yes I made the choice to do it. I hope I will be forgiven here. This board has been my lifeline since my world collapsed and I believe in what we are all doing and why we are doing it.
No I do not have any proof that my H has been intimate w/ OW except the fact that I found out she went to his state 2 times to be with him, so I'm pretty sure it is safe to assume. Again, no excuse for what I did!
My focus will to continue to be on my kids and not going out w/ any guys!
I feel like I have failed so bad at this and hopefully there is still hope in my situation. I would be so easy to give up now!
