Quote: ------------------------------------------------- How do I address the D papers at this point? He only has until March 8 to respond he said. I told him we'd talk about it this weekend. So, the problem is that I don't really have another couple of weeks -------------------------------------------------
Then you will have to address the issues before the 8th.
"Hubby, I have done my best to deal with the residual issues of my affair. In order for us to continue, I need at least a minimum commitment to the relationship from you. First, I need to know if you are going to work with me on building a new relationship. Secondly, I need to know if you intend to start sharing our marital bed with me again. Thirdly, I need to know if you intend to share parenting with me as an equal partner."
If the answers are positive, then postpone the divorce. Don't stop it just yet. Let the proof be in the pudding. You have now proven that you are serious about the relationship (the truck has been dealt with, right?). It is his turn to prove his seriousness. Do keep in mind that he already considers himself as having proven his seriousness. Regardless, he will need to prove that he is ready to commit to working out the issues.
Both of you need to come to an agreement that the old relationship is dead, and that the way to proceed forward is to recognize that the only way to repair your relationship, is to build a new one based on mutual effort and trust. You can't assess blame in a relationship, especially a failed one. It is a fruitless effort. Don't waste your time trying.
It is very important that you and hubby present a unified front to your children. The favorites and power plays have to stop immediately. If that means that you put yourself directly into any normally familial interactions with your children (bed time, meal time, evening family time, outings, etc), then you do that regardless of protestations or anger from your hubby. You have to start doing this regardless of the current status of, or the potential outcome of the marriage. Your children need both parents if possible. If that is not possible, then they need healthy relationships with both parents.
Let me know what you think.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
