About the phone bill and the system being down---Sometimes fate steps in when we don't have the good sense to stop ourselves. I always look at those things like signs--like when I lose a long email--"oh well" I figure, probably was not meant to be seen for whatever reason.
I had an epiphany yesterday that really helped me let go a little more and I want to post them here for you, they may help:
Quote:
I started thinking about my children and how I am doing my best to raise them to be good, law abiding, creative, honorable people. But when they fly the coop they are on their own and I cannot control their destiny. I can only give them as much love, guidance and support as I can and they have to make of it what they will. I was thinking about how this also applied to H.
He has in a way "grown" beyond me and flown the coop. He is a new person now and he is pursuing his passion. As OT said he is "doing his best" and though his best isn't good enough for me, he is working within his own limitations.
Thinking about it this way eased the burden on my heart and helped me let go even more. I decided that I actually would try to be "supportive" of his decision to take these fellowships and even go the extra mile and empathize with him about how hard it must be to leave the children (giving him the benefit of the doubt) and that I appreciate how he is trying to arrange it so that he can continue to stay involved in the kids' lives and activities. I have nothing to gain by alienating him and much more to gain by being a supportive "partner" even though we are divorcing.
When you talk about the phone bill it seems you are internalizing that experience and even though his $500 bill has nothing to do with you, you are letting it affect you. He has flown away from the nest and all you can so is wish him well on his journey and let him go.
It sounds like you had a wonderful evening, I'm so happy for you. Love, Althea
