Christy M: 31 H: 33 Married ~ 13 years S12 S8 Bomb 10/05 supposedly ended A 2nd bomb 12/30/05 Separated 01/06 I filed 6/12/07 ~ new ow 3wks after moving out http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1094955&page=0#Post1094955
Oh, something good--last week, I stroked him on the arm for a couple of minutes while we talked, and he just smiled at me and didn't run off or anything. It's a tiny step, but it made me very happy.
Positive step, Nicola. He is definitely missing you.
I'm glad you didn't check his calls afterall what is the point. I think he's just being neglectful and irresponsible. The less you actually know about what he's doing, the more you can focus on being who you are.
As for the puppie's visit to the cardiologist, why should you feel guilty about that. You are only being a responsible dog owner.
I'm glad you went out and had a good time. Sounds like a lot of fun.
About the phone bill and the system being down---Sometimes fate steps in when we don't have the good sense to stop ourselves. I always look at those things like signs--like when I lose a long email--"oh well" I figure, probably was not meant to be seen for whatever reason.
I had an epiphany yesterday that really helped me let go a little more and I want to post them here for you, they may help:
Quote:
I started thinking about my children and how I am doing my best to raise them to be good, law abiding, creative, honorable people. But when they fly the coop they are on their own and I cannot control their destiny. I can only give them as much love, guidance and support as I can and they have to make of it what they will. I was thinking about how this also applied to H.
He has in a way "grown" beyond me and flown the coop. He is a new person now and he is pursuing his passion. As OT said he is "doing his best" and though his best isn't good enough for me, he is working within his own limitations.
Thinking about it this way eased the burden on my heart and helped me let go even more. I decided that I actually would try to be "supportive" of his decision to take these fellowships and even go the extra mile and empathize with him about how hard it must be to leave the children (giving him the benefit of the doubt) and that I appreciate how he is trying to arrange it so that he can continue to stay involved in the kids' lives and activities. I have nothing to gain by alienating him and much more to gain by being a supportive "partner" even though we are divorcing.
When you talk about the phone bill it seems you are internalizing that experience and even though his $500 bill has nothing to do with you, you are letting it affect you. He has flown away from the nest and all you can so is wish him well on his journey and let him go.
It sounds like you had a wonderful evening, I'm so happy for you. Love, Althea
Just catching up. I was glad to see your interactions with H have improved. That is good. Curious about the phone bill but it could mean anything. Hope your dog's condition turns out to be nothing to worry over. Stay well.
Salut Nicola!!! J'espere que ton chien va bien. Here ups and downs... but hey such is life. I have actually decided to move on to this forum as I am really starting to believe that this is where I belong. Gladd to see there is baby steps in your direction... me not much besides the fact we had a great conversation and then he has gone antartica cold on me.... AH les hommes!!! Have a great day!
Me 31 H 36 2 kids (D2,D4) Status: enjoying my life all by my big self!!!;) "Life is short eat desert first!!"
