Do you have a calendar that is visible in the office....mark it with a big red X....visit parents....something he can see daily as a reminder without YOU doing it....one thing that H told me once and a C confirmed this...in my "handling" things I treated H more like my child then my H...don't treat him like your child...make him responsible for himself...I thought my H liked me taking control and making sure things got done...another eye opener....he hated it because he felt that I was doing it because I thought he wasn't capable of doing it...so becareful about "doing too much"
As far as the intimacey things go....because this is an issue with him try and be warm and inviting...taking some initiative he suggests things....he might welcome your willingness to please him and yourself....let him know you are desiring this too...DHEA helps a lot with that....it is not an herb but a naturally occuring pre-hormone...it helps to balance the hormonal productions in our brains...or something like that...read up on it so YOU know....you can buy over the counter but like I said if you can find a pharmacist that does compounding that is the best way....but then you need a Rx because they are compounding it for you specifically....
The marriage is not over....until there is something definite you don't have to make any business decisions...just keep things going because if/when you get back together you want to have this in place...you don't want to have to start over...
My feeling is that he told you it was over so you would quit the questioning of him all the time....if he says it is over then you have to accept that and he will get the breathing room he needs/wants....you are wearing him out with "talks"....just let things happen...don't question it...don't over analyze it...he is just a man and right now he is confused....don't make it more confusing for him by bombarding him with more questions...
If he decides not to visit parents then just let it go...don't ask if you should go....don't call the parents and tell them anything...let him be a big boy...if he doesn't call I am sure they will call him....you HAVE TO LET HIM FALL DOWN...you can't stop the progression of what is happening to him...it is his journey...and because of his....YOU have your own journey...and that my friend is where you MUST KEEP YOUR FOCUS!!!
Do you have children?....I didn't see any mention of children so I was just curious....how old are you and H...is this a first marriage for you both???....it helps to know these things...
I am 45 now, H is almost 49....we have been married 27 years...together almost 30 years....we were high school sweethearts....actually he had graduated when I entered...but that is where we met...we had a mutual friend in common...my old b/f who I was still friends with....he went on to marry a girl who became my best friend, they got divorced and I matched her up with my brother who was recently divorced....they have now been married for 23 years...
Get some good sleep...and I will check in tomorrow as I can....remember you have some homework of your own to work on....start taking the steps to a NEW AND IMPROVED YOU!!!!
