I just dont understand why it takes them so much longer to miss their families than to miss their OW when they are away from them.
OW is like an addiction. It's much harder to give up an addiction. Also, they tend to reframe the past, focus on purely negative things and see the spouse in a negative light. Because of this reframing of the past, you need to be careful of anything that puts you in a negative light. That way, when reality sets in and the addiction of OW loses some of it's momentum... he'll have more clarity and will see those positives in you he had compartmentalized away.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
