Gosh, I've been feeling more and more upset about this all day. And it doesn't help that I'm going through old checks and financial stuff and seeing where he spent money on OW last year and that whole timeline. I don't cry too easily, but seeing that stuff made me incredibly sad.
I know the whole Idea is to DB and reconcile here, and I know doing that for my children is tremendously important to me, but I'm not a good liar and honestly, I don't feel happy or loved or like I want to pretend everything is good when this makes me feel so bad (left out, unimportant, unloved, etc...).
It would be one thing if we had been on some special vacations together, were not piecing and he was spending special time with his father. But with our relationship so flimsy, I'm feeling like a friggen babysitter.
When you're young and dating the last thing on earth you want to do is go with your parents on a vacation. You'd rather be with your girlfriend or boyfriend doing something special. The fact that he'd rather take off time from work and do this special vacation with his dad makes me feel so incredibly unimportant.
Oh well... I'm going out with my girlfriends tonight. Don't worry, I have a pretty high self-esteem so I'm not vulnerable...
