Thanks, Lin. You've now brought me to tears, and I REALLY wish I could hug you! \:\) You have been my angel today. Thank you so very much.

For the business, we have a real estate investment business, and I need to refinance some houses. I have to work on the data this weekend for the loan officer. My thought on our business if we don't work out as a couple is that we should just sell all of our real estate and split the profits and each have our own little nest egg to start over on our own with. In time, maybe we could be partners again. But I just don't think I could stomach it immediately, if ever.

So I'm faced with this question: Do I just go ahead and refinance those houses and keep going as if we are going to be okay? Or do I talk to him about this and see if he thinks it would be best to sell them. I don't want to make any premature decisions on us and our M and our business, so it's probably best just to not say anything about it and go ahead and refinance, but I just don't know. Unfortunately, I have to take care of it this weekend (God help me), so I don't have the choice of waiting a bit to see how this all levels off. What do you think?

I saw H a little while ago. He was at the office when I got back there. He was with his friend, so there was no opportunity for any discussions at all, which was good. I could tell there was tension in the air (but maybe I'm just over sensitive right now), but he was nice and cordial to me at least, so that was nice.

One of the things I told him yesterday is that I would like it if he could be nicer to me, that sometimes he was mean and short with me and that it just made me not want to be around him. He said he would work on being nicer to me with our business stuff. I explained that it wasn't just with the business stuff but with our personal lives, too. He said he would work on it. After that, I did notice that our interactions both last night and today were a little better in that he seemed to be making a conscious effort to be a bit nicer to me, which is nice.

I know that most A's don't last, and that gives me hope. My fear now, though, is that he's now said that he doesn't want to be wiht me. So even if the A does end, will he still feel that way? Is the A clouding his feelings for me so that when it ends they will still be there? Or if it does end, will he still not want to be with me? I guess all I can do for now is focus on being a better person so that he will want to be with me again. You hit the nail on the head when you said that you knew if you didn't change you were going to lose the one person you had committed to spending your life with. Thanks for saying that. It's exactly how I feel. Not changing is simply not an option. I don't want to lose this man.

Thanks so much for the advice on the communication. As you can tell, I can certainly ramble... I will make conscious efforts to implement what you have suggested with ALL of those around me, and hopefully ultimately it will help with H as well.

Do you have any suggestions of how I can draw HIM out of his shell more? Do you think that just by me making some changes that will help?

About our trip to see his parents, you suggested that I should go no matter what. Do you think that if he says he doesn't want to go that I should still go? What if he says he doesn't want me to go either?

Lin, now that your H is back home, has he given you any insight into what he was feeling/thinking/going through during the time he was away that you think might be helpful for me to know? Since H has a hard time communicating, I'm a bit in the dark as to what is going on in that head of his...

Regarding friends and family knowing about this, I know you're right about them not knowing. It's hard, but it's what needs to be done. Do any of your friends and family know NOW what happened to you guys? How did they NOT know when he moved away?

Thanks so much for your encouragement, Lin. You have brightened my spirit and given me hope. Congratulations again on all you have accomplished. You're right, it's NEVER TOO LATE! I can do this. And when I look back on it all, wow, what an accomplishment I will have made, and how wonderful it will be to know that our M was saved because I took this initiative.