Inbliss, you might have to re-register. Send Jamesjohn a notification to ask him how, he might be able to help you.
I love the word "mumsy"! So small village British...
Yes, time is killing me too. I know how you feel, trust me. JG wants time to sort himself out, whereas I think we could at least be friends while he does that. But when we've tried briefly to be friends, it seems we can't as there's too much emotion and chemistry there. I guess, we just have to wait for them to heal.
The mirroring is very powerful stuff! I wish I knew all this 2 years ago. But hey, better late than never.
You're doing great and your H is now completely in love with you girl! You are truly InBliss!
rainbowlove ------------------------- JG is coming back to me and we're going to have a family. Positive thinking!
IP i have just been reading your thread and wish I had done this before! I am in the same place you were, terrified, can't get emotions under control. It has helped me alot to read your thread and realize if I am not careful I am going to drive H away!
I hope that things continue to go well with you!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
I'm so pleased that reading my thread has helped, I know it helped me when I first came on here to read other's threads who were in a similar sitch. Hope things go well with you too.
Haven't posted for a couple of days as I've been really busy. Yes Rainbowlove I've been very very busy. Not sure it classes as getting a life but I have stripped (wallpaper) and redecorated the spare room. All of it on my own. I have felt really great decorating away whilst listening to music. Also I am doing really well on my goal of not mentioning the unmentionable to H. It will be a week on Tuesday so there is still a long way to go but I'm almost half way there!!!
Haven't posted for a couple of days as I've been really busy. Yes Rainbowlove I've been very very busy. Not sure it classes as getting a life but I have stripped (wallpaper) and redecorated the spare room. All of it on my own. I have felt really great decorating away whilst listening to music. Also I am doing really well on my goal of not mentioning the unmentionable to H. It will be a week on Tuesday so there is still a long way to go but I'm almost half way there!!!
A-w-e-s-o-m-e! Can you hear me s-i-n-g-i-n-g? You are my hero InBliss! Mrs. Bliss! Keep busy and all will come. Now don't forget to turn on that dance music while you redecorate and do a little booty shake! LOL
rainbowlove ------------------------ JG is coming back to me and we're going to have a family. Positive thinking!
Now don't forget to turn on that dance music while you redecorate and do a little booty shake! LOL
LOL!!! you make me laugh Rainbowlove. That is exactly what I've been doing - shaking my booty to the music while painting the ceiling! I keep forgetting that I'm stood on a chair so people can probably see me in the window from the street so I'm sure I must have given somebody a laugh by now!
I need to keep busy like you say as I can feel the pressure mounting inside my head to ask H what is going on with the whole unmentionable thing. We've hardly spent any time together the last two weeks and it just seems like the whole reconnecting and improving the R thing has gone out of the window. I am determined to stay strong and not mention anything for the entire week but I admit it's really trying me now as I get towards the end.
After I've finished the decorating I'm doing an oil painting to go in the room after that's finished I'll need a new idea.
OK so I've finished the room!! Hooray!! It looks really good actually and H said he really likes it and is very impressed. Just needs the finishing touch of my painting now which I am making a start on tonight.
I am feeling myself starting to crack though on the other subject. H really upset me yesterday and it has just made me want to mention it even more than I already did. He kissed me goodbye (a good thing I know) - just a peck and I looked a teeny bit dissappointed (it has been a week and a half since a proper kiss) and he said "ugh here you are then" and gave me a bit of a proper kiss (and by bit I mean a bit). If I wasn't upset enough that he doesn't want to kiss me like that it was made worse by the "ugh here you are then" as though it is an awful thing to do and he's doing it purely to keep me quiet. I am really miffed about it. I feel very annoyed about the whole "I need time" "I just need my head to be in sync with my body" "I just need to wait for things to click into place" issue and feel that what he did is just ridiculing my thoughts and feelings on the subject. He is getting everything his way and he seems to be revelling in it to me. He goes out when he likes, he does what he likes, he sleeps as long as he likes and has no physical contact because he doesn't want it. I don't seem to be getting anything I want out of this "deal". I know I can here you saying you have your H but no I don't have my H I have a shell of the man I was married to with a stranger inside it who doesn't want to be with me in the M sense.
Sorry I'm ranting now but hopefully it will stop me aiming it at H and giving him both barrells!! Some inspiration someone please!?!?
Hey, IN BLISS, I am glad to see that you have found a way to keep extra busy. I am sure your H appreciates that. My H will sometimes get exasperated with me and say something like that, too. Like oh here you are wanting another hug, or come on, now. But I can tell he does appreciate the newfound affection. You keep up with what you are doing, and just be what is the hardest thing to be, or one of the hardest, Patient. L
Yeah H really likes the new look spare room and I must admit it does look very nice. It is all finished now and looks great. I haven't started my painting yet as I have needed to catch up on housework as it lapsed while I was doing the decorating.
We had a lovely family day out yesterday too which we all really enjoyed and when we came home H looked at me and smiled and said he felt really happy!
Unfortunately I did crack a day before my week goal about the other subject but in a way it turned out to be good for us both to clear the air.
I've had some really positive things from H the last few days too. He said ILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that he is sorry he hurt me when he left and he doesn't intend hurting me ever again. He also said I'd have a great wedding anniversary this year and that I will have forgotten all about this by then (ie the unresolved ML issue). I wonder what he is planning to do?? It is months away yet but the fact he said it I think is really really great. He even said it was good we'd had a big row because we still both wanted to be here after it! He also said that I seem to feel like I haven't got any control over the sitch we are in to which I agreed and he said I have because he wants to be with me so that gives me some control. Not entirely sure I agree with that one as I still cannot do anything on the one remaining problem but at the moment I feel very reassured by all the things he has said!!
I'm still trying really hard to be patient like you say but it is a daily battle with myself as I really am not patient with regards to this issue but at least I managed 6 days - a record for me!
oooh!! That sounds good!!! Yeah, I would say so, it is great that he said that about your anniversary, and that he said ILY. Hon, if my H said those things, I would be in seventh heaven, with or without ML. Mine is being more affectionate, somewhat, so I feel better. I think it is starting to be rather springtimey here, the birds are singing, and the squirrels are chasing each other around the yard. My H set up a feeding station in the backyard, so it is very interesting to watch them all feed and play every day. If your S likes to watch the birds, maybe you could set one up for him to watch. My S likes to take pictures of them.
InBliss, you sound good. I know the ups and downs are hard. I just went through a bit of my own drama on my thread in the last day or so. SG brought it up to me that I might want to test the waters by contacting JG and after much input from a couple of people, I've decided that I need to continue to just not contact him. If he wants me he knows where I am!
That said, it is hard girl. I know... Well, do the Act As If and take heart.
This lady at work has recently turned her M around with a bit of help from her therapist and ME and of course her H finally straightened and wrote her a heartfelt letter. They have $ex once a year though and they've a long way to go to fix that. So you're not alone here, but you knew that already.
Your room sounds great and so happy that you're going to be painting! How wonderful. You are super!!
love you rainbowlove --------------------- Rainbow is having a great life regardless of JG or anyone else! Yah, new focus, gotta swallow my own medicine!
LOL!!! you make me laugh Rainbowlove. That is exactly what I've been doing - shaking my booty to the music while painting the ceiling! I keep forgetting that I'm stood on a chair so people can probably see me in the window from the street so I'm sure I must have given somebody a laugh by now!