Well H did call last night after he missed the kids goodnight call and I did NOT call him back! Theo - you are right I am building my hopes up too much (once again) but yet I am learning patience patience patience. Tonight he has the kids and I am off with girlfriends.
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
Well last night WAS fun - and yes I can still flirt with the guys but all in all I just want to be with my family....Life sucks today due to having a few beers last night. Oh how I hate him one min and miss him the next.
I hope someday to come here and remmeber how hard it was...
I cannot wait to be thankful for getting into a much better place with or w/o H....
Life sucks again..
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
I hear ya, I start to think, is it really worth all of this? But I see my little boys face when he is with both of us and tell myself, Absolutely! then I think $%@$(&%#@!($&*%&!#$(&#% about my W. But that goes away, and I am better.
I had a few beers too, my head says not that I shouldn't of, but last night went better.
We just need to keep the faith, because GOD is here to help.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
I often wonder WTH---what did I used to talk/thing of B4 all this crap started up in August - I used to have a life ya know... now I OBSESSED with this mess and just can't stop thinking, wishing, praying..
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
I agree, this morning I had my alarm set for 6:22, and I woke up at 6:19 and I was thinking about my problem. First thought, I usually hit snooze a couple of times, but I couldn't stop thinking and was wide awake. I go to bed thinking about it, I never stop thinking about. What torture, do you think they are constantly thinking about it. I know my W thinks about it, but not like I do. You know if our spouses gave half the energy that it takes to have the A, and put it into fixing the M. Talk about a strong M.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
At this point I think he trying to NOT think about it - hard to do when you are in a 1 BR apt with two fighting kids...
I think he cannot believe how out of control all of this has gotten and he needs to make a choice and he cannot do it. I know H is hurting too - maybe a diff hurt than me but I know he is still hurting...
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
I agree, they do hurt, thats why the A is out in the open. I know she is confused but, you're right a choice has to be made. I don't think I want to give her to much more time. I say month month and a half tops. I can not let her have the both of us, and thats what she has. The passion and lust of a new R, and the goodhearted, caring, stable father in me. Thats not a life. Doing this all day and fighting for whats right is not a life for anyone. But the end result, if it gets reconciled, is worth it.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
It has not been that long for you! But you will know when you are ready - we really just need to take it day by day. Putting a timeline on it will not help - I believe you just need to start/continue working on YOU. We cannot fix this only THEY can!
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
I know, day by day, baby steps. I know I have come along way, there has been a lot of progress, but it's like starting a million piece puzzle, and as soon as you find the whole border, and start the inside, someone comes and knocks over the table. And you are obsessed with getting it put back together, so you jump right into it again.
This kind of stuff will put you in the nut house.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
