Thank you both for your information it really has helped me. I took a step backwards tonight got down but thanks for my mom in law which has been a rock to me through all of this,I finally realize what I need to do. He called tonight, I answered and he talked to the kids. When he got on the phone with me( he is a city police officer and normaly works nights) I asked so you going into work soon and he says no I took the night off. Then I said so going tomorrow night? He said no I took the whole week off. Which means he spent Monday and Tues at the hospital with OW took off wed thur friday and sat nights. He wont go back in until this next wed. I said you sure are missing a lot of work and he said well I had some vacation time. I said wow amazing. He said okay I am going to go. I said funny anyone else I know that had a hysterectomy sure didnt have that luxury. He said okay bye and we hung up. As soon as I hung up, I freaked because I knew I had screwed up. Instead of have a good evening and reacted because I was hurt. So I have decided his calls will go to voicemail. That way I can listen to what he has to say and collect my thoughts. If it is to talk to the kids, I will give them the message and the option to call their dad. I wont force them to. I have to become unavailable which I havent done really.I did stop initiating contact as far as phone or texting but when he is here then I always hang around. I am not doing that anymore. His mother isnt calling him either. We decided that if the entire family backs off of him and he has to really deal with this we will accomplish much more.
