Not only clean up but toss out lots of stuff. Donate junk, get rid of stuff, just totally dejunk your life. I've found having less stuff feels really good. It's like having a weight lifted.

Why do you need so much help with the kids? If your husband died tonight in a car accident what would you do? Yes, it certainly is ideal to have two parents raising kids, and being a single parent is VERY difficult (I know because I've done it at times -- with two special needs kids, one autistic! -- and I was raised by a single parent), but sometimes there is no choice and at this point you need to consider that your husband may not come back and you need to start living as if he was gone.

Yes, I think most people know not having dad around effects the kids. In the beginning of the divorce I told my husband these things, but I eventually realized that saying this only made him dislike me more. In time, he could see on his own what it was doing to the kids, and I think him coming to that conclusion without me telling him or blaming him made it much more effective.

One more thing... I know your husband said he won't divorce you, but when a man is addicted to another woman you need to be prepared for anything. For custody and to minimize any possible future contact between your children and OW, you're better off being the more involved parent. It looks much better in court. Not that you're going to end up there!!! But always think ahead.

Last edited by runningoutoftime; 03/03/07 01:58 AM.