Lisa, In reading a lot of the posts on this "Piecing.." forum, I really see that there are still going to be issues and discussions, and it's typically not a cake walk if and when we do commit to the M again. I also see that the decision to commit again doesn't come typically as a decision, "Let's give it another go", but develops slowly. In the same way that getting our WAS's to take another look by changing ourselves, when we get back into the M again, we still have control over ourselves and how we can change. What we can change is our reaction, or intention. I just really like the "are you going out of your way to show the love". It's not about guilt or "working on the R" or "for the kids" or about keeping score. Just being as loving as you can and maybe giving them the love as they need it. My H does everything for everybody. He really wants to be loved, by being appreciated, listened to, respected. At the same time, I know that I would love to take all the blame, and then somehow, in some magic way, I could fix it right? You said something once, they have to change, too. Another phrase I hang onto. I just really like your method of looking at all this. Serenity Sarah
