Sarah, just read over your reply to me again, had to smile at it. I'm nothing special, just someone who wanted to share what worked for me. Although my H never actually 'said' let's start over, that is what we are doing and this is a man who told me back in April, 2 months after bomb that he held out NO hope for us. I read the book "the 5 love languages" and found that he is 2 of them, kind words and physical affection. I held out on both for so, so long. Not anymore, and he responds to it. Of course all of this is especially helpful if you know that your spouse still cares for you like I knew mine did, even though he had himself convinced he was totally done with me. But I think that all these WAS's still care, no matter what they say. They are just hardheaded with a lot of pride. Too much sometimes. And they start thinking about that "greener grass" out there (or so they think) and get a little excited about it. It really is a shame. Lisa
