I think I belong here.

[fearless]

I'm not sure why you think you get under my skin? I think our different points of views are useful along with our different writing styles. Please understand that I don't take this personally. How could I when you don't even know me? That's something I see at work all the time. I don't take people's criticisms of me at work personally at all because it isn't about me; it's about the job.

Anyway... the point is I am just fine with you and your posts so there is nothing for either of us to worry about. I think it might be that I have a lot of passion for the work everyone is doing here and that may come across in my posts.

As far as xH, yes he did have issues which he is working on in therapy. I wouldn't call them anything to dramatic however he was going through classic MLC issues. There is a book called Midlife Passages which explains that we ALL go through midlife and the crisis happens when we don't address our issues (shadows).

I haven't personalized this at all and like I've mentioned before I am not all that sensitive. The only reason I have posted is to give another perspective to other people. In case other men or women have similar circumstances to mine, then they won't feel alone.

Perhaps you have not completed your soul-searching

I definitely have not!! I've been rereading Care of the Soul and plan to reread Midlife passages. I've done a lot of working on my own personal issues for the last 10 years and while I have made a lot of progress, I don't expect my soul searching will ever be truly completed.

"Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't." Richard Bach

Don't project. Say "It is difficult for ME when YOU speak in absolutes. It makes me feel like you are blaming me."

There is no projection from me however you're right that I should be more clear. You statement does not capture my meaning. And I have not felt ANY blame from you so that is completely out of blue and makes no sense.

This does capture my belief: "I believe speaking in absolutes may simplify issues to the point where alternative solutions are overlooked." I am an engineer so I see this all the time in problem solving. Engineers are so sure of the solution some times that they do not properly define the problem (this is where absolutes are useful - strength of materials, etc.) and look at all solutions. I was just speaking with another engineer about this yesterday so that's funny that this comes up today.

OK, Ill try to be more sensitive to your feelings.

Don't spend a second worrying about me:) There are much more useful ways to spend your time.