Some of our spouses need to be shown what they will miss once we are gone; I tried that. My H instead lost his self-worth and found OW's to fill his ego. They got tired, but he continues to feel forlorn and melancholy, and has minimal self-respect. Showing him love when he is turned off to ONLY me, is something that I am doing only because it will help me in the long run, but the real love and appreciation for who he is, the father to my children, the bread-winner, the crazy guy, etc. We all have our demons, but concentrating on them does no good. His demons are his, mine are mine, if we can open ourselves up enough to talk about our inadequacies, I feel we could make great strides. Really, I am ok. There is no loser if I show who I am, if I smile when he does something that makes me happy, if I listen without expectations. For me, that's love. Thanks for the thread. Serenity Sarah
