Have you tried using a carrot or a stick, or both? Sometimes just being the nice guy and turning around your previous behaviors is not enough to get the marriage unstuck. If she does not believe that things will be different this time, because for years it has not been, she might not give your real changes a chance. She might also have detached herself so much that she cannot bring herself to start feeling again even if she wants to. She might need some sort out outside “push” to bring her back to the world of the living.
