Life of Job

[ford]

i hear ya, I think it would be hard to script something because you won't know the exact mood of the situation. just trust yourself to say something that is true to you and the situation

[81388*]

that is what it all comes down to, trust yourself. It needs to be true to me and the sitch, but can't give away the fact that my heart is breaking all over again. Who keeps putting that stupid thing back together? Lets just leave it broke for awhile.

[ford]

either way, you'll probably get the obligatory eye roll, or the deer in the headlights look.

just try and stay strong and not react to a negative reactions from her, should she be negative when the time comes.

[~Sol]

I have a question, What do you say when they move out?

good by, addios muchacha, see ya later alligator?

Maybe just good luck, hope you find your misplaced happiness, I know I didn't take it because then I would be happy, and I am not.

Just play that Motley Crue song:

Girl, don't go away mad..... Girl, just go away...

Ha! I'd play that song too!

Just say what ever is in your gut at the time. Be honest, but don't make it worse. It will be hard at first, I know, but isn't it always hard when we have to leave a close relative in another state? But we will see and hear from them again. Right?

But I think it's best to say nothing. More can be said later on.

Look at it this way, you will get time to do the things YOU like to do. Personally, I like to dance around the house in my underwear when no ones around.

[81388*]

S6 and I could dance around in our underwear, but I don't think my girls would tolerate it for long.

The real problem is that the things I like to do are, in no particular order;
-visit with my wife
-talk to my wife
-cook with my wife
-do things as a family
-go dancing with my wife
-go to church with my wife
-go to church and listen to wife sing with praise band

Well, you get the idea, now don't get me wrong, I do have other interests and will try to do more of that, since I won't be spending time with W. Of course I will have to take a page out of Ben's book and become full-time super dad.

I have had the kids for as long as a month while W was out of town working, but it seemed so much easier when I was doing it for her instead of because of her. Easier on the kids as well. They knew how important it was in the past, now, who knows how they will feel.

[81388*]

Wife moved out. Came by today and moved alot of stuff out. Furniture, pictures(none of me), dishes, etc. I asked yesterday if she wanted the kids today, and she said oh yes, I want to see them, I told her just call after church, havn't heard a word all day.

I have been pulling out old pictures and putting them up in the place of all the old ones she took with her. Still has alot of stuff here, tempted to just start tossing stuff out. Tell her I am sorry but I thought she had moved out, so the stuff still here must not be important.

I have done pretty well, the kids were hard hit, but we just finished a family meeting, talked about what has changed, and what hasn't(mom and dad still love them, this is not about anything they have or havn't done, we will be OK,etc.)

D11 helped hang pictures, and commented on how much she liked some of them, and why hadn't we hung them before? They have sctivities at church tonight then home for homework,baths, and getting ready for the next day.

Have not called W, although she showed up before we left for church, was talking about taking this that and the other thing, I just told her that the "stuff" was pretty meaningless to me, so she should just take what made her happy because that was the purpose of all this, said it nice though.

[jamespb75]

Must be a tough one, I am sorry that is is happening. I know when I first moved out I cried all the way to my parents house. It got easier as the days went by. Be strong and hang in there.

[whatisis]

8, there's nothing anyone can say to make this time easier, I wish there were so that I could say it! I know for me one of the most difficult parts of even considering leaving is the efffect it will have on the kids. If you want to call it a bright spot, you have been spared having to inflict the wound so stay strong to help them heal it. I know the pain is the same, no matter which S inflicts it but I'd sooner be in your shoes than hers. If that makes any sense.
Do you have a Minister you might spend some time sharing this with? It's time to start rounding up the supports. No matter how strong you are, a shoulder to cry on, someone to share with is a MUST. Take care of yourself and your kids. I'll be thinking of you.

[81388*]

Thanks guys;
I just got back from dropping kids off, W called D14 and wants them to come over, but forgot they had stuff at church(same as just about every Sun for the last few years) So she will pick them up at 5 and then drop them off tonight. I called to see if she wanted me to drop off S6 while I was in town. She did.

So I drop him off and she asks if I want to see the place, I hesitated and said maybe later, she obviously had expected this, so as I was backing out, I changed my mind and went back, said of course I want to see the place, got the tour, and within 5 min of being there I was fixing the f*cking toilet! She didn't have any tools, so of course I run out to my truck and get some, tear into it and get everything ship-shape. Hell, at least I COULD fix the toilet.

Nice place, and I told her so. Then drove home in a daze, at least I have rounded up some furniture and paintings to cover the empty spots.

Well I guess I will go to the gym, and maybe stop on the way home, have a couple beers and maybe throw some darts.

The problem is I really don't feel like doing anything, just dead inside.

[whatisis]

8, I often have had that numb feeling (is that a feeling?)after the "bomb", which as you may know, I have heard a number of times over the past few years. I could function quite well and actually went to a party after "I don't love you anymore" but it's the following day where it all sinks in, so just be aware that tomorrow you may be much more emotional than today and it's OK. Take care.