Why did it make you depressed when I said I was happy for your H?
Because it seemed to me that you were implying that there was something else or more that I could have done.
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I hope you take some more time to take care of your bunny before your monkey swings her out to be buffeted about.
Oh, don't worry about me in that regard. Actually, I usually have the opposite problem. I've never bounced right from one man to another. I'm just trying to buck myself up or else I could easily go into hermit mode.
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You cannot know anyone, without hearing their voice, and how they speak, seeing them move and feeling their presence. Literary infatuation can blind you to all of that. Id rather see you go to the biker bar eyes wide open, but thats not what you really want.
I know that this is true. My sister has done quite a bit of internet dating. She once went out with a guy simply because he spoke directly to her monkey fantasy. When they went back to his apartment he put a Yonni album on and she had to make a rude and hasty exit. Interestingly, I am located close and pretty much equidistant between two biker bars. One is a "real" biker bar and the other is the sort of biker bar that caters to dentists who are bikers on the weekend. I would only visit either of these in pathetic pursuit of validation but not in search of anything for real.
It's also true what you said about hearing someone's voice. As you may have guessed I have a rather low voice for a woman and I talk very fast.
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Your a cool girl Mojo. Give yourself a chance to believe it. Make a plan. stick with the plan.
Thanks. However, I have no clue how to make such a plan.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I am my own father. When I need a mother, I call her and have her make me lasagna, or corned beef and cabbage.
You sound like my son. We have a running joke that he only "cupboard" loves me. My lasagne is only good but my corned beef and cabbage is excellent.
I understand what you mean about deposing the father. Did you know that the first rule of writing a romance novel is to kill off the parents? When I spoke of your "perfect father", I meant the part of you that will best father yourself.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
What was that? The doorbell. A package for me. Please excuse my appearance I just got out of the shower. Oops, I dropped it. Naughty pictures.How embarrassing! and now my robe just won't stay closed as I bend forward to pick them up, my eyes level with just below the belt of your cute brown uniform. Do I need to sign? I step on my robe sash as I start to stand and the whole thing just pools at my feet leaving me nekkid except for the dirty pictures which I press to my breasts in a sort of Girl on Girl collage.....
Ha!
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Blackfoot, thanks for the background. Did you choose any specific male role models when you were growing up? (In person or books, movies, tv? Who did you want to be like?)
Mojo, it's important how his mom smells, because he will either expect you to smell that way or else he will be repulsed if you DO smell that way.
My advice about internet dating: meet them as soon as possible. You HAVE to know from the get-go if there is any physical reaction at all. These people who carry on months-long email relationships and THEN meet-- I don't see it. Toward the end of my internet dating period (about 6-7 months) I was proposing we meet for coffee or something almost immediately. The thing I like about the websites is that you can screen for literacy... and that means a lot to me. BTW I never liked match.com. I did like udate.com and kiss.com-- I think they've morphed into one site.
I never would have met my current bf on the internet because he smokes and I had screened out all smokers. Also his adolescent writing style would have put me off-- although in his mid-50's he writes like teens do in their instant messages.
Hairdog, I'm curious-- how much contact (how long) did you and W have over the net before you met in person?
Mojo, it's important how his mom smells, because he will either expect you to smell that way or else he will be repulsed if you DO smell that way.
That reminds me. I can start wearing perfume again. I gave it up because my H is allergic. His mother always wears tons of floral scent and it bugs the heck out of him.
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My advice about internet dating: meet them as soon as possible. You HAVE to know from the get-go if there is any physical reaction at all. These people who carry on months-long email relationships and THEN meet-- I don't see it. Toward the end of my internet dating period (about 6-7 months) I was proposing we meet for coffee or something almost immediately. The thing I like about the websites is that you can screen for literacy... and that means a lot to me. BTW I never liked match.com. I did like udate.com and kiss.com-- I think they've morphed into one site.
Good advice. My sister said pretty much the same thing. She pretty much gave up on internet dating because the reality was so different than the webpage. I do agree about the screen for literacy also vice versa 'cause I never want to be told that I'm too nerdy to f*ck again. Perhaps that should be part of my personal description if I join a site. "Some have said that I am too nerdy to f*ck. Others have stated that I am like a 12 year old boy in a woman's body. Intrigued?"
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Hairdog, I'm curious-- how much contact (how long) did you and W have over the net before you met in person?
Not long. Maybe 2-3 weeks? We had exchanged pictures after the first week, so I already knew that she was hot. And she knew I was hot. After we met and actually saw each other, it was a done deal.
My sister said pretty much the same thing. She pretty much gave up on internet dating because the reality was so different than the webpage.
I did not encounter guys who misrepresented themselves. Everyone I met was very nice. It's just that you can't pick up on chemistry through email. Or IMHO, on the phone. I felt some 'chemistry' or at least the potential for some with every guy I met in person, but once I met them, it wasn't there. No one ever called me for a second date, so I'm assuming they felt the same way.
Another important thing is to look at internet dating as catalog shopping. Don't take it personally if someone you contact isn't interested. And if you're not interested, just don't reply. The normal rules of social etiquette don't apply. I'm not saying to be rude (I know you won't be), but for myself, if I contacted someone and they weren't interested, I'd much rather they not reply than to send me an 'I'm not interested' email. Maybe that's just me. The important thing is not to take it personally.
I read another board where someone will make an internet contact and then go into a downward spiral because they guy didn't reply, wasn't interested, had a few dates but left his profile up, etc. Yikes. This isn't a Victorian gala ball (like the ball in "The Age of Innocence") where there are carefully coded signals and responses. It's much more rough and tumble... I guess like a mosh pit! LOL!
