Hi mrs.cac4. I want to copy this post and give it to my W. She could have written it. "Could have", except that she hasn't gotten to the point yet that you have: accepting responsibility for your actions. That was/is a big (huge, enormous...) step for you, wasn't it?
Have you ever taken the Enneagram test? Hey, Lil! Do you think she is a Type 1, like Ms.Hdog? And what about cac4...is he a Type 6 like me?
Jeeze...this is like watching my story unfold. Or, should I say, my "fantasy" unfold, because it is only in my innermost, most private thoughts and wishes, where I allow myself the tiniest ember of hope that Ms.Hdog will "get it" as mrs.cac4 seems to be. I feel like putting this thread on my "blocked threads" list because all it does is feed that futile hope. Or, in a bit more Zen-like way of putting it, this thread is like some sort of parallel attachment to the attachment I have for my marriage's bright future. And this attachment, like that attachment, causes me to suffer.
Quote:
Typically I would go about my business controlling everything, but "letting things go" to keep the peace, or so I thought. I'm talking about something left on the counter, a sock on the floor, something not put away. The "small stuff." After a time of letting things go, I'd reach my limit and blow my top. H would have no idea why I was so upset because typically the trigger would be something very insignificant and unrelated.
OMG...you mean Ms.Hdog might not be calling me at work to complain about the way the towel was hung on the towel rack...that it was just the most recent "last straw"? This helps me understand her better. Maybe, instead of saying, "well, then hang it up the way you want it, I'm not stopping you, and, btw, quit calling me at work about crap like this" or, worse yet, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again," I should say, "hey honey, what's really wrong? What's going on with you?"?
Hairdog, who now needs to go back and look closer at some of cac4's posts.
