I'm feeling pretty avoidant myself NJ. I don't like that either. I was getting quite concerned that H was avoiding too but this morning he made a comment that he had a sex dream about us and he wants to make it come true this weekend. So yeah for me. Maybe I'll get some good lovin. It's been about a month. ugh.
No advice for ya just letting you know I can certainly relate. It's hard to get yourself out of that mindset. Hope your H comes through for you.
BF... I appreciate the questions. I am in a pms headspace. There's a major rainstorm here and my ankle hurts. I am feeling sorry for myself. I suppose I was treating the pursuer-avoider game thing as a permanent dynamic. It's time to give it a rest. I am feeling subdued...not very monkey or lion-like.
LFL... I hope you have a great weekend...sounds promising!
Had a sex talk with H tonight...very cool because we both really listened to one another. I told him I wanted to be more playful, teasing, and fun for him, but it was backfiring on me. I explained that I seem to do best when we have some sort of schedule. I said that I understood a schedule takes away from spontaneity, but it's really how I function best. So we came up with a plan to have set days for sexual play, and that we would both try to think of ways to keep things from getting regimented and boring. We agreed that the sex days did not have to include intercourse, as long as we were having some form of intimacy. It was an open, optimistic conversation...I felt we were trying to address each other's needs.
NJ, That's great. I had a sex talk with my H last night, too. You've been at this longer than me, so maybe you're used to this. But I'll tell ya... I was a little uncomfortable sharing my feelings about sex with H. I guess I was embarrassed or something.
At any rate, I'm glad you and your H had a good dialogue. It's good to get out in the open what is on both your minds and what your possible roadblocks are. I need to take my lead from you.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
PS, The sex talks do become easier. I remember in the beginning it was so very awkward, but eventually you just get the words out and the next time it's not as difficult. The hard part is figuring out what it is you need in the interactions and coming to some sort of compromise.
Last night was not a scheduled night, so naturally H really wants to have sex. There is this oppositional quaility about him. It was hard to know if I should give in so as not to be a stickler to the schedule, or hold off, tease and play, and make up for it tonight. I just wish we could truly agree on something!
Take any additional offers as such, and still stick to the schedule :-)
An unscheduled offer does not trump a scheduled session. My opinion.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Im outta here. LFL get chocalate in here stat. 
