I was surprised to read your opinion of the type of support on the MLC board. It is not like that at all. Most of the advice is not geared towards blame or confrontation. Most of the advice is geared toward being supportive of the MLCer in his/her depression, while also having healthy boundaries in place. IMO, the primary focus is working on yourself and finding happiness in your own skin while the MLCer works thorugh his/her own issues and/or continues his/her destructive behavior.
Working on yourself is the key and I know there is some of that over there. But I see very little discussion of FOO issues or any analysis of why you are like you and as well as your spouse. Without that knowledge, all you can do is focus on being more compassionate and patient. But that still does not validate the needs of the MLCer, does it? It does not make you radically honest, open and vulnerable. So that standoff goes on and on.
You can learn a lot on this board. I believe the viewpoints here are unique and it is rare to find such a collection of posters. I have believe for a long time that this SSM board could be a Godsend to the MLC board, if they (the MLC board) would only open themselves up to it.
Mermaid,
Yes, I remember you too…. I completely agree with you that the MLC board is the most supportive and caring. It is one big cyber hug-fest. Loads of compassion for the LBS and none for the MLCer.
You know as well as I that MLC is not any sort of disease. It is a reaction, a way of responding, to a buildup of conditions, abuse and denial over the years, and generally manifests at middle age. There is no disease involved. Dr. Laura has it right concerning men.
I challenge you to post on this board. Give us a synopsis of your situation and see what kind of feedback you get. You might be very surprised at the work you still need to do and the understanding of your H that you do not have.
