Well, went camping. D16 wanted to attend school and then watch the final OC episode on the Friday night. The rest of the family W, s14, d12 & d10 went on the Friday morning. Ended up D16 decided to not watch OC and her and I got to the campsite after dark. All W's family was there lots of nieces & nephews. We arrived just in time for dinner (bbq) talk about good timing. Nice campsite, bush setting in a national park with nice waterhole. I got to sleep next to w for the first time in 10 months. W and I didn't really talk much and she seemed a bit distant from the rest of her family. She spent most of the time reading the Men are from Mars & Venus book.
Trying to figure out what went wrong with last om I guess.
As part of my GALing I have met lots of new people and one of them, Justin, was going to play a gig on the Saturday night. He plays 12 string slide guitar whilst also playing the didgeredoo. It's a very good combination. So I came back late on the Saturday afternoon so I could see him play. Noticed w was watching me leave when I took off, normally she shows no interest. The show was great he has some good sounds but it was all instrumental.
Went back to the campground on Sunday morning and spent most of the day there and helped everyone pack up.
Finally heard w mention something about depression. mil, W & myself were together an w was tlaking about the kids and especially how demanding d14 is when w said 'maybe thats why I get depressed all the time'. Huuummm food for thought.
W still wants to go to AlAnon meetings, I have been taking her but am starting to feel that if she want to go she can drive herself. She has shown no real interest in me and considers herself divorced from me and that the m is over. Why should I take her? I know that it was my drinking that brought about my w's need/want to go to AlAnon but am I obliged to be escorting her there once a week. I suppose it is a good way to see her regularally. I asked her if she intended to do the 12 steps and she told me she's read them and is doing them all the time now. I was a bit put off by that as I am of the understanding that someone (a sponsor) takes you through the steps one at a time. The fourth step involves looking deeply into yourself to expose your character flaws. Was kinda hoping w would be putting a bit of effort into it. I suppose time will tell.
W's home phone and mobile have been cut off again for nonpayment. I don't like see this happening and know she must be hurting but theres nothing I can do but keep DBing and enjoying and making the most of my new found freedom.
Don't seem to be obsessing over w so much lately although I do have my moments.
