Was this the case when you started your R? If so why did you do your chore, in the beginning? Since you consider it a chore, do you push off your other chores in the same way? Do you ignore the dishes, brushing your teeth, feeding your kid(s)?
He said that he thinks I'm not interested. He said he tried the flowers thing and it still didnt' seem to make a diffence in bed.
Since you admit that you were aware of what he wanted, and actively took steps to avoid any situation that could allow for sex, he is not wrong. Does flowers make a differance in your wanting to have sex? Did you tell him that it does/doesnt? Did you ask him why would he try to buy sex with....candy, flowers, jewelry, whatever?
Frankly that concept completely baffles me. If I wanted to purchase something from a woman, I would pay her to give me some space, after we had a good time together.
I need some kisses on the neck first.
as opposed to what?
Thats it physically speaking? Just kisses on the neck. Boy your easy. Do you know what turns you on? Have you told him explicitly even if its mental, not physical. If he were a woman, and you were a lesbian, I could understand him allready knowing what you wanted. Of course, most LongTerm lesbian relationships are sexless too so maybe not.
I need some open, honest communication. Why? What does open honest communication change about you that changes sex from being a chore to something you want to do?
I understand wanting open honest communication. I understand wanting a nice dinner. I understand wanting a comfortable place to live. I want sex. None of them are contingent upon the other, though.
'I want to have sex.' Does that count as open honest communication?
I need to feel loved.
Thats really vague. what does that mean? Did you feel loved when your H started his A? Is that why you wanted to have sex then, because you felt loved?
If no, to any of those, then -to me --that does not constitute open honest communication. I find it contradictory.
Do you crave sex now, or are you just ammenable and receptive.
I told him that sometimes I feel used
Interesting. I take it that feeling used, is a bad thing? Describe a scenario that would leave you feeling-- not used.
Is sex still unenjoyable for you? If so why do you want your H back? If its to pay the bills, catch the spiders, take out the trash, be there for the kids, I understand that. If thats not why you want him back, and you do enjoy sex now, has anything external changed or are the changes internal? Do you know what they are?
Welcome. Im glad to hear about your progress. Affairs are very painful. You should be proud of yourself for the hardwork you have done on yourself.
Do you know what turns you on? Have you told him explicitly even if its mental, not physical.
