I am here again and just trying to make sense of this new way of thinking. I am hoping that I can stay this way and not get side tracked. I also did start reading a book of meditations for women who do too much and I have found some very nice stuff to think about in there. While I was riding the bike today for over an hour I read alot and it helped me to think more about myself and this journey I am on. I am really doing better on dwelling on the OW memory of it all. I do think about "it" occasionally and it actually just slips thru my mind and I start thinking about something else right away. I am very proud of this and I want to keep being strong and keep falling in love with myself so that I can be better with my husband. Cause that is really what happens when you love yourself and respect yourself it just spills over into everything you do and your everyday interactions. I have never loved myself enough to do this for too long. My h even said this to me the other day. Stop WORRYING ABOUT ME!!!! Start worrrying about you and change...
ENOUGH SAID.
he told me to stop praying for him just stop x , stop y, stop z and just RELAX. That he was never going to leave me or the kids that he loved me very much and to focus on that! Something I am terrible at doing. I have never been able to RELAX for long and yet now I am very much working on that and typing and posting here is a part of that it helps me to feel calm and to let my emotions out and have a place to put them.
I will post more later the kids need to use the computer we are going to watch music videos and dance and act silly how fun! God bless...
