thanks lisa.... you can come and bitch on my thread any time you want...
this was sent to me today....
MOM- Job Description
POSITION:Mother, Mom, Mama
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challengingpermanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates mustpossess excellent communication and organizational skills and bewilling to work variable hours, which will include evenings andweekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travelrequired, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainyweekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travelexpenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated,at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bitetongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a packmule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat incase, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone justcrying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technicalchallenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggishtoilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintaincalendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clientsof all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensableone minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly andproduct safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, andbattery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but beprepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountabilityfor the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also includefloor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job isto remain in the same position for years, without complaining,constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in yourcharge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job trainingoffered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequentraises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18because of the assumption that college will help them becomefinancially independent. When you die, you give them whatever isleft. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that youactually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuitionreimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth andfree hugs for life if you play your cards right.
