My road to LDness

[fearless]

Cobra,

I'm trying to understand this because teasing is more a male thing than a female thing I think. Teasing, joking, testing are all ways that boys bond.

IMO general teasing is not necessarily the problem mrs.cac4 and LP had with their fathers. I just do not that there is any way to tease about sexuality to a developing daughter in a way that isn't minimally uncomfortable and potentially damaging. The teasing about body development, sex, etc. makes the relationship with the father seem inappropriate and can make sex seem "dirty". Of course avoiding your daughter as she sexually matures can be just as damaging because it again sends a signal that her sexuality is a "problem".

Mrs.cac4,
I admire your willingness to write about your background and your issues. I am so sorry when I read about women who have had issues like yours with your father. It seems so unfair but again I admire that you are taking the step to move past those issues.

I am fortunate that my dad was great. I never even had to think about such issues. The closest I can come to having ANY understanding is when I was 17 and running track. I had finished poorly in the 400 or 800 meter race and my uncle came over and said that I had "a body for love and not for speed" and in a "weird" tone. ICCKKK and honestly my uncle isn't a bad guy and that's about the worst thing he ever said like that. BUT it was just gross and uncomfortable. I just have passed it off as weird Uncle XX being inappropriate. Just the fact that I still remember it 20 years later must show how significant something like that can be. I cannot even imagine what it must be like for your father to say even worse things on a more regular basis from an even younger age.

Lucky for me I was a late bloomer. I didn't get a period until around my 14th birthday, and breasts followed after that. By this age I was able to "handle" it, but I have always struggled with acceptance of my woman body.

This is such an interesting issue to me - coping mechanisms. In this example you learned ways to "handle" the problems you had with your father. And they worked well FOR THAT SITUATION - to protect you from your father. But then those same "good" coping mechanisms probably were/are part of the problem with your H.


Good Luck to you and cac4