Quote: P.S.: Saw that you sent yourself some flowers. Are you going to put those somewhere that H can't help but notice? As for going out this evening - is there a coffeehouse or bookstore that you could "hide out" at for a couple of hours?
they are for me to enjoy for myself..but of course they will be displayed proudly bearing the small balloon (if they have one) and or card that reads "you are special"
where h can see them...will he get mad...probably...do I care...probably not...I have told him what I need and he has chosen to take his time and tell me those things will come with time...well sorry but I need them and deserve them now especially after what I've put up with.
as far as tonight...I can always find someplace to go and hang out...thing is I've even noticed the book stores to be a bit of a pick up joint to and let's just say...not to toot my own horn...but I am a hot mamma!! not conceited just convinced. so the attention is still there and will still serve to endanger h's chances....attention from om even if simply admiring looks will only serve to fester the anger I have towards him right now...so may be best to get some christmas shopping done and then hit a movie or something...(please just take my talk as PMA not as a snotty little bitc k )
I don't really want to put the kids in daycare just because h cannot accomidate me....lord knows I accomidate him PLENTY!!!
Quote: web based courses that a local university or community college might offer.
though my spelling and grammar are atrocious (see I can't spell) I actually have a BS already.
LL wow simply ordering myself flowers has given me some strength.
Quote: though my spelling and grammar are atrocious (see I can't spell) I actually have a BS already.
Did you happen to have gotten your degree in Engineering? Only reason I say that (and I hope that no one takes offense) is that most of the engineers I know can't spell to save their lives. Except for my W - she can spell with the best of them and plays a mean game of Scrabble, besides! Occasionally I think that someone in the Research Triangle Park area (where I work) should organize a Spelling Bee for adults. Maybe I should be that organizer...
Quote: please just take my talk as PMA not as a snotty little bitc k )
Sorry, LL - can't imagine you that way at all. Although I can imagine ...
NO, NO! Bad Bob! Bad Bob!
Oh, yeah - I remember now. A couple of years ago W took a couple of computer classes through NC State University when she was thinking of a career change. The class load got too heavy for her and then her mom got a stroke a few weeks later so that has been put on hold. Don't know if your degree is in the computer field - just throwing ideas out your way...
my degree is actually in human services..with a minor in counceling if ya can believe that!!!
I have talked about going back to school to get a masters degree and get into social work but h points out it costs money??? so doesn't football tickets and airfare to go to miami to see your team and the superbowl and all that crap??? right? and also there is the overlying factor that neither I nor h want to put the kids in day care and h just doesn't seem to find it within him to acctually accomidate me as far as a schedule goes (at least not when he's actaully trying to be with me cause he sure had no problem getting here when he wasn't) to even get a little job to keep me busy and seeing new faces...(I think it would be kinda fun to work the local convienience store for a couple nights...get to meet the town.) I almost feel like h wants me to be a kept woman...of course h will say...what'd you think it would be like having kids...a gee i dunno... thought maybe we'd share the resposibility but know most of it would be on me??
does h not realize how simple things can really be dealt with here....what little it is I am really asking for...
why is it I feel like I am asking too much of h....or at least h thinks I am asking to much of him??
just got a call from the florist and they can't get my flowers here today. they'll bring them tommorrow....sheesh even the florist wants to make me wait.
Quoting lostlove: ...not to toot my own horn...but I am a hot mamma!! not conceited just convinced. so the attention is still there and will still serve to endanger h's chances....
Now where the hell are all those hot mamas in my neck of the woods and why dont they go to the book stores here????
ok so here's an example of h doing right.... after a rather nasty phone conversation earlier when I learned that h would be watching football with his buddie...I was angry ...see previous posts...orderd myself flowers that well didn't come (tommorow am now they say)
so h calls again later to check in...asks about the snow up here...I say enough so that they couldn't deliver my flowers..."who sent you flowers" I did...oh ll, you didn't have to send yourself flowers...well I wanted them and if I want something there's no reason I can get it for myself right...h says well what's done is done...you just have to have some patience (so these things will come with time I guess) so h tells me what time he may be home...I say it is ok as I checked the theaters and there are 9:00 shows so theres no rush...ok if that's what you want to do...I let him know that I am not going to be stubborn, I know that he wants to watch the game with buddie and that is ok...I would like to see a movie and should take advantage of the fact that h will be with buddie and go see a movie..is ok really.
so point of this post...h just called...he may be later than expected so he has called his dad to come over so that I do not miss the show...
aaaahhhhh!!! now how easy was that...think of me and I am happy...
Sorry about the flowers. I am sure your H will be even more jealous tomorrow!
Regardless, I think it is a great idea to get out of the house, no matter taking a course or working in a store. Can you take a night course in a local college? A class would only take one night a week plus a few hours of studying time like the one I am taking right now. It sure will be a much better investment to your human capital than a paying grocery post in the long run! Plus it is a good place to meet lots of young, motivated and unmarried guys are in a college too!
chuck no the hot mamma doesn't wear her ring yet...but the h now does....told him just last night that I wont put it back on til he asks me too....and nothing yet...so whatever... don't intend to waist my degree forever...at somepoint I will be somebody (ok I know I'm somebody now, but when people ask what do you do...I'll be proud to say I'm a hmmm gotta decide what I want to do...a social worker..a hs guidance councelor (nice summers of yahoo) or a family councelor) most would require more schooling.. the part time job would be to get out and to just get to know some more people in town....the play group scene just aint cuttin it ya know... I'm not ready to go for more courses yet cause I'm not totaly sure what I want to do...and since dd is only 1 it will be a while before I can go to work anyway...
LL and dont think h will be jeolous of me sending flowers to me...think he'd be more like "i'm a dumb ass my w has to send flowers to herself and look at what a hot mamma she is!!" ok enough of me thinkin I'm all that.
ok so this morning was not out of the ordianry....til son and I were looking at model trains on the internet (all the while I'm thinking gee maybe I could take a mini vaca with the kids and take him to the model rr museam) then h joins us to see the trains and son proceeds to intentionally shove his elbow in my face...nice huh..I know he's only three but wtf!
so then my flowers arive (after h left no biggie cause he knew they were comming) with a balloon too...so I tied the balloon to a chair in the kitchen so it wouldn't float up to the top of the ceiling..(cathedral ceil) dd is taking a nap and son is watching mr. rogers...while I was up getting dressed (and mind you I do it quickly and finish up in the mainfloor bathroom so not to be too far from son) son went in the silverware drawer and got a fork and tore a nice big whole in my balloon....again I say wtf??
I obviously got too damn skinny over the summer cause now even though I am far from fat I don't feel good about myself and don't like the way my clothes fit...but then again they were all hangning off my over the summer so I suppose it's a good thing.
I called h and let him know what son did....h was not thrilled and wanted to talk to son but son just walked away and turned his head...he is up in his room now pouting..and I had been thinking of taking him to the library this afternoon or just going out and sledding in the back yard there is a little hill perfect for him. but right now I am really not thrilled with him...since just yesterday while we were out...he felt it nessisary to ignore me and go stomping around in a big puddle making us have to come inside and not get to enjoy the snow.
I know he is young and some ridiculous behaviour is to be expected but he is almost 4 and some of the things he does are driving me crazy..
h is otherwise ok...he knows what son did to my balloon and told me he was sorry...we'll have to get you another one...I won't hold my breath on that...but it's not about the balloon it's about son doing theese things.
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