h is trying, thing is he's just doing what comes naturally...and I seem to be the one making the effort...I did not want to say anything to him about his friend because there really is nothing wrong with him having friends...is something I wanted for him all along...just stinks that NOW is when he has one.
it seems that anytime I do let h know what I need from him...even though I do let him know what he is doing right...he still gets defensive with the but it's not enough!
so last night after some unnessisary arguing...I told h...as far as h's go you are a great one...but right now I need a little extra..is it fair...not really but what I have been through this past year wasn't fair either.
h keeps assuring me...everything with time..and that the things I am looking for will come...I know they will but right now is when I really need them...and that I let h know... honestly today I feel like calling a florest and sending myself an arraingment with a card saying nothing more than YOU ARE SPECIAL. hell I'd even sign it from me....that basically is all I want...do I want it all the time...no I just need that extra bit right now. I know that sending flowers to myself would only serve to frustrate h...just as my putting the lights on the tree seemed to....last night h said...why did you decorate the tree...and rather dissapointed I might add...I pointed out that I only did the lights...but i think he felt left out...maybe I should have done the whole thing.
so after some unpleasantness last night...h finally got it..and instead of saying to me...you went out with your friends fri night...did I give you a hard time...bla bla bla...he finally said sincerely...I'm sorry for not calling you. honestly folks..if he had simply called me a few times while he was out....I would have felt a whole lot better...is that something he will always have to do when he goes out...I would certainly hope not as that would be a bit pathetic..but for now...I need the reasurance.
LL hoping for a better day today! it is snowing again...ugh..more tired h.
