My dad did not insult me or ever call me names or anything like that. He used to tease me-- and I HATE teasing. For example, when it was time for me to get my first bra, I asked my mother not to tell him, because I was sure he would make fun of me. And right away she understood. The view of sexuality I learned at home was very skewed.
I’m trying to understand this because teasing is more a male thing than a female thing I think. Teasing, joking, testing are all ways that boys bond. I would think girls can bond in this way too, but to a more limited extent. However to be able to take on the “toughness” required in male bonding, I think a girl needs to have a certain amount of emotional self confidence first. I think that comes from the mother.
But how does a girl react if her relationship with her mother is not strong? Is she angry with her mother? Maybe. Or maybe she knows she is emotionally vulnerable, but the dynamic of female relationships does not open up that wound so it is not apparent. Taking that wound into a male bonding experience could be like rubbing salt in the wound. So could your discomfort with your dad be due to weakness in your mother? And was your dad doing anything more than just acting like a male? Just theorizing….
