I can ask, and he knows that I need my time too...he is pretty good about tending to the kids now when he is home in the evening...most of the time...which is a major 180 for him as I used to do it all he would have to do is come up and give son a kiss goodnight. thing is with the weather and miscelaneous appointments his schedule is varied...and then there are things that are not in his control...like this past mon I was supposed to go out with another at home mom from up here but she forgot and had to go to some scrapbooking thing...i have plans again with her this evening but she rambled to my answering machine something about having to see what time her h would be getting in as he is busy with year end projects..(guess I'm not alone in the being dependant on h so I can go have a life) so perhaps she will be available...perhaps not..over the summer during separation I went out at times alone...and didn't mind (was the best way to see a movie actually) it's just cold and dark now so I don't like it much. h has no problem with me going out and doing my own thing...before all this if I so much as wanted to get out to the store, I'd have to (or it would be requested of me and I'd give in) put son to bed first.. now if I want to go...I can walk out the door as soon as h enters...I just haven't been doing so much lately.
I still have my book club, but that is only once a month...I am trying to start something in more of a ladies night...with the mom who can't seem to get her act together (tonight will be the fourth attempt to do something with her) and another woman (friends of ours that live in next town over) just to get out...hell I even suggested to my mother (who lives 10 min away now that she moved up here last april) that we should do something once a week even if bowling...(she doesn't do much either so it'd be good for both of us)
I have done what most young mothers do....put my kids and my family first..loosing myself in the process (not such a bad thing cause mostly what I used to do is go out and get drunk with my friends)
the winter is tough...i live in a rural area and honestly there area ton of other at home moms but we all tend to stay in our homes during the winter...the past couple of winters weren't so bad as I got involved with a rotating play group with son..that one sorta fell off (the kids weren't really his age anyway, and the moms weren't my age either they were on their last child) and then I hooked up with a couple of other moms over the summer...that worked well for a while...but then the winter comes and it's pre-school and all that stuff...my son will go next year..I just wasn't sure about sending him this year as he wasn't potty trained and let's face it I was dealing with a lot..new baby, h affair, h moving out, h asking for d etc..
as far as asking for what I want...you can only ask so many times....I want flowers and a card telling me how much he loves me and how much this family means to him. I want to be taken out for a nice dinner somewhere....I want to have a picnic in front of the fireplace...
these things I have asked for...sometimes ya just can't ask ya just have to take what ya get even if it's a little.
