What scares/worries me is I see shades of her mother in her in her dealings with the kids. It is usually subtle, but the undertones are definitely there. Mentioning any likeness at all to her mother is a sure-fire trigger, so that is something I avoid doing. Instead, I try to intervene, and lately have been more assertive in pulling her aside and telling her what she's doing is not acceptable. mixed results at best.
