Anyone here read The Count Of Monte Cristo? Edmond Dantes waited 13 years for his revenge. He got the girl, but still had his revenge. I'd rather vent about it here than bring it up with her, so I have to say that right now I want to give this guy a beat-down...
Well, visualize it and make yourself happy. Just don't do it. you said you gave up all of the fighting stuff when you met her. So work on yourself and stay calm.
the one thing I hope you have seen by reading all of these threads from other people, is that this is not going away any time soon. To focus on anything else in your life is only positive energy spent. To focus on your relationship, and the OM, is creating a lot of energy wasted on NOTHING! Get it?
Try to focus on making yourself the person she wants to be with. Focus on GAL and see where that gets you.
Don't you feel tired at the end of a day when you have been focusing on your relationship. How do you feel when you focus on yourself and things you like doing? Sound better?
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
Well, visualize it and make yourself happy. Just don't do it. you said you gave up all of the fighting stuff when you met her. So work on yourself and stay calm.
the one thing I hope you have seen by reading all of these threads from other people, is that this is not going away any time soon. To focus on anything else in your life is only positive energy spent. To focus on your relationship, and the OM, is creating a lot of energy wasted on NOTHING! Get it?
Try to focus on making yourself the person she wants to be with. Focus on GAL and see where that gets you.
Don't you feel tired at the end of a day when you have been focusing on your relationship. How do you feel when you focus on yourself and things you like doing? Sound better?
Ok, i messed that quote up! "The one thing I hope you have seen by reading all of these threads is that this is not going away any time soon"...that's hard to swallow. We used to comment about all the drama our friends would find in their lives, and how it was so simple for us to avoid. It's incredible how quickly things change...
YEP! I have been swallowing it for seven months and I have gained about a fraction of where I would like to be. The problem is our emotions. They run wild, and if you can't use them as positive energy, this will take even longer.
You didn't answer the question at the end. How do you feel?
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
I'm exhausted at the end of EVERY day. I can't think about anything else, not for lack of trying. I've gotten better lately about paranoia. For a few days I had convinced myself that she was seeing him after work. That was a rough time. I was very accusatory and I'm surprised she stuck around.
Read the chapter on infidelity again. Tomarrow try to turn over a new leaf. focus your energy towards something positive. See if you notice a difference.
Also, read on my thread what everyone is writing, and try to apply it towards your sitch, take a good look at muddles comments.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
I'm proud of myself this morning. I didn't tell her about OM and I having to talk 3 times yesterday, and I'm not sure I need to tell her tonight in MC. We went to the supermarket last night, and when we were putting everything away, I hugged her. She wasn't ready for it, and she didn't really embrace me back. It hurt my feelings, so I asked her if I was out of line. She said no, she just wasn't ready for it. How can someone who used to love you so much just lose it? Do they ever find those feelings for you again? We bring our retired racing greyhound to a doggie daycare a couple times a week, and they always give him dog biscuits which make him gassy. He pretty much farted us out of the apartment wednesday night! She made a comment about us at least being able to open the windows this summer. I try not to analyze things like that, but it's hard when you look at the future one day at a time, and then they give you hope that you can look further down the road and see yourselves together. I just want her to love me again. I asked her what she used to love about me a month ago during one of our confused/what-do-we-do/crying sessions. She replied "everything". I know what you guys are going to tell me, time and patience. I just wish she would at least say that we're trying to reconcile, instead of "let's just see what happens".
Hey, the lets see what happens is better then, I want a D, and I don't love you, and all the negative things in the world. So just buckle up buddy, your in it for the long haul.
On a brighter note the future statment is a positive.
You not bringing up OM, is also a big positive.
Give her room to breathe.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I got the "I've lost my feelings for you" statement. She did, after reading the infidelity section of DR, however, say that they may just be lost right now, and wants to see if she can find them again. The MC agrees that seeing OM everyday is clouding her judgement. I'm going to bring that up again in therapy tonight.
